like slow spinning redemption

maybe you.

2006-03-01T17:40:00.000-08:00

She says she's just a girl

I think there's something more

She says You changed her world

And the smile on her face is a dead giveaway

And I just got to know

So won't you tell me

Is there something more to You

Maybe You could be the one for me

And turn my life into

Just what I need

Maybe You could save my soul

Maybe You could be my best friend, too

Maybe You

There's something in her eyes

Something behind her smile

She says You changed her life

She says no one knows her like You do

She says she's nothing without You

And all I know is that I need You, too

Cause I can't see her without seeing You

Hey guys, as usual this is like my monthy post. Let's see what has happened...

-I got about 12 or 13 inches cut off my hair:) I love it

-I started my new semester of school

-I went to MEAFORD! Wayy up north with my friend April...for a youth rally weekend with her church. It was a lot of fun...despite the fact that I didn't believe her when she told me that it would be freezing cold up there...and I came practically with nothing warm to wear and froze all weekend:p. The snow was like up to my waist!

-and that's pretty much it, I can't think of anything else...I'm not much into blogging I prefer my MySpace (sorry to all the faithful bloggers)

halo

2006-01-30T11:30:00.000-08:00

heyy so today's my birthday so I woke up and went out for breakfast with Kristin. What're the chances that one of your best friends has the same bday as you? I love it.

This weekend was mid winter sing in Kitchener...good times. hmm what else... tomorrow I'm cutting off 10 inches of my hair to donate for cancer. I'm excited and nervous ahhhhh.

I'm done exams!!!! I had FOUR and it was awful lol. I'm done my piano exam..which was on the 17th and I'm finally free of all these annoying things!!

The title and description from my blog came from the song Halo by Bethany Joy Lenz.

lol don't ask about the above. "unknown person" aka lysha with toy story toys. It was from on the weekend at Beth and Michelle's house.

for lindsay.

2006-01-09T21:11:00.000-08:00

I was thinking

over thinking

cause there's just too many scenarios

to think about

to figure out

if you're my dream please come true

'Cause I know you're hurting. So put down your burdens.

Crucify your doubts and just reach out. Reach out to Jesus.

Embrace him.

I throw up my hands.

"Oh, the impossibilities"

Frustrated and tired.

Where do I go from here?

hey hey, can you hear anything i say? i'm feeling unwanted, that's not what i wanted and attention to me is something you refuse to pay. so tell me tell me what will it take? to get this through your head and tell me what will it take? until you see things through from end to end.

Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong.

aw lindz i love you. i hope things get better soon. it's awesome how we've become friends this past year or two. RK-sooo amazing. that was the best night! me and april trying to find you- that was a task in itself lol. matt. lol-good times. math class---ahhh only a few more weeks and we'll be done. we'll get through it-we HAVE to. no way we can survive that class again. we've already gone through so much trouble for it- who knew skipping was so much STRESS? stay strong in your love for our God. always trust in him and he will carry you through.

We are troubled on every side,

yet not distressed;

we are perplexed,

but not in despair;
Persecuted,

but not forsaken;

cast down,

but not destroyed;

2 corinthians 4: 8-9

I hate the world today but I love this life you have given me

2005-12-21T13:34:00.000-08:00

live. love. learn. grow. change.

experience. make mistakes. take chances.

accept. appreciate. respect.

live in the moment.

•The world's view:

live - as if there's no tomorrow

love - as if you've never been hurt

learn - knowledge is power

grow - don't let anyone stop you from being who you want to be

change - you have the freedom to be whoever and whatever you want be

experience - the world and all it has to offer

make mistakes - what better way to learn?

take chances - you'll never know unless you try

accept - every belief, every value, every hope, every dream, as if one is not better than another

appreciate - the things we and others have accomplished, created, and even attempted

respect - others and the way they chose to live their life

live in the moment - you only live once

•contradicting:

live - when that "no tomorrow" comes what are you going to say when you stand before Jesus?

love - sometimes it's remembering those hurts that reminds us never to love before we're ready to

learn - hold on to the Lord's teaching and His truths; it will set you free

grow - what happens when you've gone too far?

change - we were created exactly the way God wanted us to be, don't fight it

experience - seeking to find joy in the world will only bring you pain

make mistakes - "Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid." (romans 6:1-2)

take chances - fine, as long as you're willing to be accountable for them all

accept - "I am the way, the truth and the light. No man cometh unto the father but by me" (john 14:6)

appreciate - it's not about what we can do, but about what God can do

respect - choose to live a life of sin? you won't gain my respect for it

live in the moment - what about when the moment is over?

•May it be:

live - because we are free

love - because He first loved us

learn - your knowledge of Him will lead you to Him

grow - in our relationship with You above all

change - You will help us make it

experience - Your love

make mistakes - He will pick us up when we fall

take chances - He will carry you through

accept - What He did for us and build your life on it

appreciate - what we are blessed with

respect - "love your neighbour as yourself" -but respect needs to be earned

live in the moment - every moment we are given is another moment of grace, so live each one for Him

Sometimes it's easy to fall into the world's way of living. It seems right. It seems logical. It appears to work out just fine. What happens when the moment is past? What happens when you fall further and further into a place where you don't want to be? What happens when there's no one there? People say: What happens when one day you realize life has past you by and you forgot to live it? But I say: What happens when one day you realize life has past you by and you forgot to live it for what it's for?

Seven.

2005-12-14T16:54:00.000-08:00

So as usual I don't feel like writing so I'm doing this thing I stole from Lysha and Summer.

1. Seven things to do before I die:

- Give my life to God and be baptized.

- Learn to speak French fluently.

- Go to Germany.

- Go on a mission trip.

- Lead someone to being saved by Christ.

- Fall in love.

- Live somewhere I never thought I would have.

2. Seven things I cannot do:

- Stop procrastinating.

- Love the world.

- Never be without fear.

- Forget that I've hurt my friends.

- Cry easily.

- Forget the times I've passed up on God's call.

- Pass biology ..jk..although it's lookin like it may turn out to be true.

3. Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:

- They are who they want to be, and not who others want them to be.

- Put what's best for me above what seems right in the moment.

- Confidence, but not over-confident and not conceit. (what lysha said)

- Looks... obviously. (once again what lysha said)

- Put Christ above all else.

- Mean what they say.

- Trustworthy.

4. Seven things I say most often:

- lol

- ttyl

- like

- crap

- danke/merci

- hey

- yeah

5. Seven books I love:

- The Bible

- The Purpose Driven Life - Rick Warren

- I Kissed Dating Good-bye - Joshua Harris

- A Land Remembered - Patrick D. Smith

- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - JK Rowling

- Anne of the Island - LM Montgomery

- Christy Miller Series: Until Tomorrow/As You Wish/I Promise

6. Seven movies I love:

- A Walk To Remember

- LOTR

- Extreme Days

- Borrowed Hearts

- Dumb and Dumber

- Dirty Dancing Havana Nights

- The Harry Potter movies

7. This question is now a statement: do what you want with this.

- I chose to do nothing.

a look back.

2005-11-28T19:34:00.000-08:00

It was a summer's day. Two girls swinging lazily back and forth on their swing set. Not knowing that much about one another, one girl says:

"So...when's your birthday...?"

"Hmm..Januaury 30th" was the reply.

"Oh my...me too!"

Jumping up at their "amazing" discovery, the two new best friends are instantly overwhelmed with the joy that only two little 5 year old could have.

This is my twelveth year of knowing one of my best friends in the whole world. I'm pretty sure I can say that after twelve years, no longer do things like that excite us lol. We've been there together through the good and the bad. Through growing up. All the summer days of walking and biking, running through corn and soybean fields, climbing in haylofts, eating popcicles, jumping on trampolines, and being kids. Sunset bike rides back to our homes when we finally admitted it was time to go home. Making our way through nine years of elementary school and into our third year of highschool. Making and loosing friends, growing and changing together along the way. Those times when we can just be quiet and it's okay, we just enjoy being with each other. Our first day of kindergarden, graduation, our first day of highschool, and years of sharing our own special day. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love you, and all the good times we've had, I know there'll be many more. You were my very first best friend.

yeah more songs

2005-11-24T13:34:00.000-08:00

And I've collected all these thoughts • And I'm dying just to lose them • And if your words are true or not • I'll die trying to prove them • But I'll just have to accept • That my mind is so inept • And the only thing that's left • For me to do is to trust you (Relient K- The Truth)

Well I'm not feelin all that inspired at the moment to blog, but I haven't for so long so yeah I'm gonna post lyrics then. hbd raymond haha.

*ahaha...my friend lindsay and I totally got busted by the VP for skipping class the other day...then we were forced to go outside into the freezing cold to study for our math test...oooo the pain we go through for that class;).

• It's always nice to look out the window And see those very first few flakes of snow And later on we can go outside And create the impression of an angel that just fell from the sky - Relient K: In Like a Lion (Always Winter)

• I watched the proverbial sunrise

coming up over the Pacific

andyou might think I'm losing my mind,

but I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am

'cause then you'll see my heart in the

saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.

See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.

Stop right there. Well I never should have said that

it's the very moment thatI wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.

I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.

I'm ready to try and never become that way again

'cause who I am hates who I've been.

Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.

Couldn't keep to myself enough.

And the things bottled inside have finally begun

to create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps sinking up

to the beating of my heart, and I was positive that

unless I got myself together,I would watch me fall apart.

And I can’t let that happen again

'cause then you’ll see my heart in the

saddest state it’s ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

-Relient K (Who I Am Hates Who I've Been)

•I don't want to lose you coming down

With the whole world upside-down

I don't have a soul to trust in now

With the whole world upside-down

We are one, tonight

And we're singing it out

We are one, tonight

And we're dreaming out loud

And the world is flawed

But these scars will heal

We are one, tonight

(Switchfoot- We Are One Tonight)

Sunny with the high...

2005-11-02T13:14:00.000-08:00

...of 75 Since you took my heavy heart and made it light and it's funny how you find you enjoy your life When you're happy to be alive.

So yeahhh..I went to Aquire The Fire on the weekend. [A youth rally with speakers and bands and stuff] It was amazing...the worship there was seriously incredible, just looking around seeing every single person worshiping our God with their whole heart...something you don't see in church every week:p. It really made me stop and think...Worship is not just singing some hymns you've had memorized since you were like 5...it's a lifestyle...to live praising God with everything you do, everything you have, and everything you are and will be. Singing with your whole heart with your only focus being on praising our Lord. ATF definately was full of people with this awesome attitude. So yes, I definately challenge all of you to start living a life of praise and worship--I know I need to. Anyhow, on top of all that, ATF brought out a whole different persepective on living for God...one that maybe my church doesn't always bring out of people. I think living for God is really hard if you've only experienced it from the view you've always known and grown up with--it's when you experience God in another way, another place, you can really feel how he is real everywhere. Not to say that I don't love my church, because I do, I just mean that for people who feel like they are struggling and getting no where--maybe it's because you've never experienced God in any new way--one that doesn't come from a sunday service or even camp. So yes, try it out if that's you. Okay..so at ATF- Hawk Nelson performed [YEAAA] and Skillet [I have no comments...haah april] and Michael Gungor [also amazing]. And about 6000 people -YEAH.

And last night...I went to go see MxPx and Relient K!!!!! I'm still freakingour excited about it--they were awesome. lalal..Matt Theissen..cough cough..haha linds and april. And RK played a lot of their old songs too so that was sweet. And they got us all to sing the theme song to the tv show "Full House" with them -YEA- these people are RANDOM--but whatever it was amazing.

I'm driving now...ahhhhh I'm so ecstatic...I went out with my friends april, lindsay and kristin a few days ago..ahah..luckily I didn't kill anyone, seriously I don't know why people would want to drive with someone who's driven by themself like 3 times..I doubt I would haha.

So yep I'm not at school today because I didn't get back from the concert till after 1...and "too bad" I left all my school books in my locker, so I can't do any work...what a tragedy..

...I better find something to do with my day...

YEAAAAAA

2005-10-20T19:30:00.000-07:00

I GOT MY G2 TODAY!!!!!!!

he has 5 more "just for show" minutes left

2005-10-05T22:36:00.000-07:00

haha yes so me and lysh have our little discovery about everyone and their "unspoken ways". you see...girls and guys pretend like they're not online only to talk to each other, but really, they are. so when one leaves, the other one stays on for oh, about 5 minutes, and then leaves. those are the 5 "just for show minutes" where they stay on and talk to their other friends so it doesn't look like they were only online to talk to that girl or guy. so true...and so smart of us for discovering eh? I'm sure you all subconsciously know this anyways;).

so yeah today I failed my biology test...man that class- I don't know how anyone can possibly pay attention to my teacher who goes on the whole period about cells and diffusion and plants and I don't know what else I'm not really listening haa. I'm so on kristin's level with everything I don't what I'd do without her...when we don't wanna go to class, we'll just go to tim hortons instead eh? ^chapeau to that ;).

I'm goin to see Relient K on the 1st of november with april and lindsay! YEAH!

Be My Escape-RK

I’ve given up on giving up s l o w l y,

I’m blending in so You won’t even know me

apart from this whole world that shares my fate

This one last bullet you mention

is my one last shot at redemption

Because I know to live you must give your life away

And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity

I’ve been locked inside that house all the while

You hold the key And I’ve been dying to get out

and that might be the death of me

And even though there’s no way in knowing

where to go promise I’m going because

I gotta get outta here

I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake

I gotta get outta here

And I’m begging you, I’m begging you,

I’m begging you to be my escape

I’m giving up on doing this alone now

'Cause I’ve f a i l e d and I’m ready to be shown how

He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there

And this life sentence that I’m serving

I admit that I’m every bit deserving

But the beauty of grace is that it makes l i f e not f a i r'

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity

and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while

you hold the key And I’ve been dying to get out

and that might be the death of me

And even though, there’s no way in knowing

where to go, promise I’m going because

I gotta get outta here

Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is

something I can’t shake

I gotta get outta here

And I’m begging You, I’m begging You,

I’m begging You to be my escape.

I am a hostage to my own humanity

Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made

And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me

But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave

I fought You for so long

I should have let You in

Oh how we regret those things we do

And all I was trying to do was save my own skin

But so were You

"Those who try to hold on to their lives will give up true life. Those who give up their lives for me will hold on to true life." Matthew 10:39 (NCV)

...

2005-09-07T18:07:00.001-07:00

It was a beautiful letdown

the day I knew

that all the riches this world had to offer me

would never do.

It was a beautiful letdown

when you found me here

and for once in a rare blue moon

I see everything clear.

Swichfoot- The Beautiful Letdown

hmm I'm not much in the mood for blogging, but I haven't in awhile so I figure I should. I had an awesome time with you guys at Valens last week...and on the weekend in Mansfield. Yep and now I'm back and school has started. In a way I don't even mind, it's nice to just be with different people for a change and get away from all the stuff that's been going on. My semester is gonna be so hard but I have good people in all my classes so I don't mind too much. All my friends are leavin for Europe this year and I'm not going..that's gonna suck..but oh well. I'm saving to go on Youth Choir in a few years..yay.. okay I'm in a really boring/bad mood right now so I'm out. love ya guys.

happy bday zac.

seeing life from God's view

2005-08-22T21:30:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. It's an awesome book that is really helping me with my walk with God. Here is one section of the book that I found to be really interesting and eye-opening:

The way you see your life shapes your life. If asked how you picture life, what image would come to your mind? That image is your life metaphor. It's the view of life that you hold, consciously or unconsciously, in your mind. It's your description of how life works and what you expect from it. Your unspoken life metaphor influences your life more than you realize. It determines your expectations, your values, your relationships, your goals, and your priorites. One of the best ways to understand people is to ask them "How do you see your life?" You will discover that there are as many different answers to that question as there are people. Life is a circus, a minefield, a rollar coaster, a puzzle, a symphony, a journey, a dance, a carousel, a race, and a battle.
What is your view of life? You may be basing your life on a faulty life metaphor. To fulfill the purposes God made you for, you will have to challenge conventional wisdom and replace it with the biblical metaphors of life. The Bible says, "Do not comform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God." The bible offers some metaphors that teach us God's view of life.

[This is one of the three given metaphors that I liked best]

Life on earth is a test. We don't know all the tests God will give you, but we can predict some of them, based on the Bible. You will be tested by major changes, delayed promises, impossible problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticism, and even senseless tragedies. God tests faith through problems, tests hope by how you handle possesions, and tests love through people.
A very important test is how you act when you can't feel God's presence in your life. Sometimes God intentionally draws back, and we don't sense his closeness. A king named Hezekiah experienced this test. The Bible says "God withdrew from Hezekiah in order to test him and see what was really in his heart." Hezekiah enjoyed a close fellowship with God, but at a crucial point in his life God left him alone to test his character, to reveal a weakness, and to prepare him for more responsibility.
When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant in your life. Even the smallest incident has significance for your character development. Every day is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God. Some tests seem overwhelming, while others you don't even notice. But all of them have eternal implications.
The good news is that God wants you to pass the tests of life, so he never allows the tests you face to be greater than the grace he has given you to handle them. The Bible says, "God keeps his promise, and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain at firm; at the time you are put to the test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out."
Every time you pass a test, God notices and makes plans to reward you in eternity. James says, "Blessed are those who endure when they are tested. When they pass the test, they will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I certainly have been faced with many tests lately. Many...and even though I did not do as well on them as I could (and should) have, I have drawn closer with God knowing that I can face tests in the future through my faith and dependance on Him.
For all you who always ask, "If God is so good, why does he let so many bad things happen?" your answer is right here. Life is a test... bad, senseless, and distressful things will happen, you just have to face them with the knowledge and understanding that God wants to see you through them and he will to be with you every step of the way, if you let him.

Footprints In The Sand

One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:

one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,

he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life

there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very

lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you,

you'd walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times

in my life, there is only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why when I needed you most

you would leave me."

The LORD replied: "My son, my precious child,

I love you and I would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering,

when you see only one set of footprints,

it was then that I carried you."

the COTTAGE..wooT

2005-08-07T21:18:00.000-07:00

I just got back from spending the weekend at my cottage up north...WooT [as lysha would say--have to give her credit for her words, since apparently people always steal them]. I love it up there. There's something about it that just makes all the problems go away and you can enjoy yourself. I went up with my parents, my brother and lysha on Saturday morning...we launched our boat and lysha, my dad and I boated over to the cottage...wOOt again...I LOVE our boat. Yep, so when we arrived at the cottage all my cousins were there...we all have cottages near each other. So we spent the day swimming and boating and laying out on the raft. ...And watching my brothers and cousins have their attempt of a football game. At night we had a bonfire and we sang praise and worship songs while one of my cousins played their guitar. Yes and some people shared stories and testimonies and stuff it was awesome. The next day we had "church" outside in the back yard by the lake. "Church" at the cottage has gotta be a favourite..there's nothing like it lol. The singing was...an interesting experience to say the least... we left to go home after that, my brother had to work this afternoon. It was...sweet...I wish I was still there...I have pictures! ...they are below. This week... I am babysitting all day every day...and then going to vbs at our church...man...what a horrible week lol. Anyhow...yep, camp is over and that sucks...I miss my friends.

Kaff, Summer, Shimmer and whoever else...hope you're having an awesome time camping...I really wish I could have come!!

"who would take a picture of a man's face?"...lol...sorry joke with lysha-- had to put that in, it came to mind.

we shall call him barney...love you more than more. lol.

2005-08-07T18:07:00.000-07:00

the cottage

2005-08-07T18:05:00.000-07:00

looking out at lake simcoe

facing withdrawl

2005-08-02T16:52:00.000-07:00

And so the cycle begins:

"we spend half the year excited for camp to come and half the year depressed that it's over"

Right now the "depressed" part of the cycle has begun...I MISS CAMP!!! AHHH... I miss all my friends that I'm not going to see till...September I think. This sucks...how will I go on :p...

Anyhow, yeah, camp was sweet. I went down with my brother and my cousin..long drive, like 9 hours. The week was awesome as always. We had great teachers and forums and stuff. [I won't go into great detail...you've all heard me and lysha RAVE about camp sooo many times.] Camp is honestly the best...you can't go there without coming back the same person...and that's what I love about it. It gives you that push that is honestly really needed. I wouldn't be where I am now without camp. Yep... and "after camp" in Mansfield Ohio was awesome too. GOOD TIMES...the ice cream..the driving around..singing WHY OH WHY.. it was just as good as camp. Me, Lysha and my friends sang "Cry In My Heart" [by Starfield] during inspiration hour in Mansfield...rofl...that was an interesting experience to say the least. Yeah, so now I'm back at home...and wishing I was at camp or in Mansfield still. I have to babysit 7:30-5:30 Wednesday, Thursday, Friday this week...that.will.not.be.fun.

I missed you guys while I was away! Beth and Michelle...you are so coming next year!

I could really use your prayers...I have so much going on right now.

love you lots.

one more dayyyy...

2005-07-23T15:33:00.000-07:00

camp starts tomorrow!

hey guys... this is my new blog, created by the lovely lysha.

I had an awesome time at summer and shimmer's house..with lysha and kaff and BECKY!

Finding Who We Are -by Kutless

In You we're living
In You we're moving
In You we're finding who we are

In You we're living
In You we're moving
In You we're finding who we are

And I worship You
Father of lights, spirit of truth
And I worship You
Jesus, we call on You,
yes we call on You

We come to worship with our voices
And know the love within Your skies
We lift our hands and seek Your presence
And find ourselves in who You are

And I worship You
Father of lights, spirit of truth
And I worship You
Jesus, we call on You,
yes we call on You

You Loved Me When

2005-07-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

Call me prodigal
Call me anything You like
I've spent so long in the darkness
I'll do anything to step into the light

I don't expect You to love me
I don't expect You to need me

I tried my best to run away
But You say that none of it matters to You
You loved me when I lost my way
Cause You say that none of it matters to You

Call me prodigal
Call me broken and ashamed
Call me anything that I deserve
Cause I don't deserve my name

I don't expect You to want me
I don't expect You to love me

And I'm lost without You
Cause I'm holding on to You
Just when I start to doubt
I find You waiting, You're still waiting

by better days ahead